Breaking Through the Surface
by IlyEmbry90
Summary: Alex, the new girl to town. Paul, the volatile werewolf. Will their love over come all the obstacles in their way? PaulxOC. Sorry, really bad at summaries. No flames! R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**Breaking Through the Surface**

**Summary: Alex, the new girl to town. Paul, the volatile werewolf. Will their love over come all the obstacles in their way? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. I know, it's depressing.**

Chapter 1

For the first fourteen years of my life I dreamed of travelling to far off places. For the following three I hoped and fantasised some more. Six months ago, at the age of eighteen I had given up hope. Now, when I was starting my senior year, just getting used to the idea of being a small town girl and making friends more permanently. Now, my parents decide, after years of cursing and screaming to get divorced.

My mother has spontaneously become a misogynist and had decided to flee to the other side of the country to escape the man that 'has ruined this town for her'. At first I decided the world was conspiring against me. Then I figured out this meant travelling perhaps to a big city which, I figured wasn't as bad as it could be. But obviously I didn't know my mother well enough because I have just taken two planes and long taxi drive to another miniscule town with the added bonus of knowing no one and it being if possible, SMALLER than the last one. My life officially sucked.

We pulled into a small house surrounded by utter greenness. I pulled myself unwillingly out of the car and onto foreign ground. I pulled the bags out of the back and entered the house, taking it in. It was mostly made of wood and mostly old. There were some obvious additions and renovations like the kitchen and living room where I dropped the bags and walked outside to take another load in. The three of us worked in unison to take in all we could, leaving the heavy furniture and boxes to the removalists.

Three hours later, my mother was scowling at the poor removalist while paying him and I was starting to unpack what I suppose was my room now. It needed some work. The walls were pink and the curtains a brighter pink with frills on the edge. I fought hard to take the other room but when you have a brother it's kind of hard to argue that he should have the pink room. So here I was grimacing at the horrendous room whilst stacking books onto shelves and folding clothes into drawers.

A mop of black hair poked around my door "Mum says to order a pizza."

"What's she doing?" I sighed back, really not in the mood to do anything.

"I think she's strung the punching bag up." He grimaced.

Since the divorce my mother had a lot of rage which her counsellor told her it was not good to bottle up. I had to agree with that, you did not want to be on the receiving end of her tantrums when she 'let it out'.

"Joy." I muttered as I rose from my bed and trudged down stairs to find a pizza number.

"Is there a pizza number anywhere?" I called out.

"On... the ... coffee... table' my mother ground out while aggressively throwing some right hooks at unfortunate the punching bag.

After much argument and discussion my brother and I decided on what to order and I put the order down, which was to arrive in forty minutes. It seemed to be forty minutes too long for Nate, who leapt off the couch and was at the door in three strides when the doorbell rang. I paid the delivery guy while my dearest brother devoured his pizza.

"You are the most repulsive pig I have ever met" I said, disgusted.

"Sue me, I'm hungry." He retorted angrily.

"You eat like you've never been fed before" I said exasperated.

"Whatever." Was all he could say so I left it at that and went back upstairs to Barbie world.

I stuffed my earphones in and turned up the music loud. Why I got stuck with my mum when I so preferred my dad I do not know. I suppose because she was a controlling Nazi while he was, for the most part calm and patient. Unless of course, he was fighting with her, in which case he was foul-mouthed and frankly, terrifying if you weren't my mother.

When I woke the next morning it was pouring with rain and freezing. I pulled on my dressing gown, shivering and walked into the miniscule bathroom for a nice, steamy shower. After fifteen minutes of bliss it turned stone cold. I stifled a scream and leapt out. Wrapping a towel around me, I turned off the taps. If they hadn't taken showers I was in so much trouble. I got dressed and put on a small amount of makeup and strolled casually out of the bathroom. I was hoping they'd already taken showers and wouldn't notice. Damn! No one was up yet! I was screwed. I decided to flee and let my mother have coffee or at least get over the fact it was the morning before coming home again. I grabbed the keys, a yoghurt and walked out. It was still early, earlier than I had realised and it was freezing outside. I strode quickly to the car and promptly turned on the engine and heater. I pulled out and decided to explore what I'm pretty sure Nate had called La Push.

After half an hour of driving I had one thing to say for La Push: Green. And cold. That's when I came across the beach, which was at least a break from green. I pulled into the parking lot in front of it and stepped out of my car and onto the beach. From a distance it looked grey but up close it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. The stones were all bright and unique. Terracotta, turquoise, violet and so many more. I sat down on the cold beach and just stared at my surroundings. It was so peaceful and beautiful. That was the thing about small towns; they were often stunning and always peaceful. But that grew old quickly, for me at least. Out in the mist of the sea were little islands. I stared into the grey sea and lost myself in subconscious thoughts.

When I next emerged from my thoughts it was lighter, probably eight or nine o'clock. I swallowed heavily at what waited at home but decided not to make them wait too long. I stopped but the shops and brought bagels home as a peace offering.

I pulled into the narrow drive way to see Nate glaring at me from the window and mom bashing the punching. How so much rage could fit into one petite woman I had no idea. It just wasn't normal. I guess we just weren't morning people.

**AN: Okay, I'm going to say this now: I'm Australian so obviously I don't know a lot about America so I'm sorry if anything is incorrect. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: I never have and never will own the Twilight series or any of its familiar characters. It all belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer, unfortunately for the millions who wish it was their creation.**

As it turned out I was in trouble. Not only with my mother but also with my brother. But at least he forgot about it quickly. I still got scowls from mom and it had been two days. Well, I suppose no one could hold grudges quite like my mother. If I turn out like her I will institutionalise myself.

As my punishment, I was going to school tomorrow. A week earlier than I had expected, therefore a week less to deal with it. I didn't really do the whole meeting new people thing. I hardly ever met new people so I hadn't much experience with it and I just didn't have that kind of personality.

I spent most of my day out of the house and in the shops of La Push, which were very limited. So I then went up to the neighbouring town, Forks where at least there was a Thriftway that I could get stationary, notebooks and school stuff. But I had to say, not very much recreation around here. I decided on a road trip in the near future.

When I got home my brother was out and where was my mother? Like I had to think about it, at the punching bag, as usual. Two years ago, I would have been absolutely mortified by her behaviour but, I had realised, if I didn't think of her as my mother and just a crazy woman I live with it was easier to live with. But sometimes it still hurt to see what the divorce had done to her. It had been pretty awful, for all of us.

I did the remaining bits of unpacking and without dinner, I collapsed on my bed and my eyes were closed before they hit the pillow.

_BEEP! BEEP! _My obnoxious and evil alarm clock woke me up far too early for my liking but, without opening my eyes I trudged my way into the bathroom. I twisted the shower knobs until I had the right temperature and immersed myself in a warmth I liked to call heaven.

When I got out of the shower I looked in the mirror.

"We have a _lot_ of work to do," I muttered to myself as I pulled a brush through my wet hair. I then proceeded to blow dry and straighten. It was naturally that bizarre form of not quite wavy but not straight either which was infuriating as it was pretty much just frizz if I left it to itself. My hair had a mind and body of its own. I applied a little make up and went back to my room. I pulled on my jeans, a simple white top and a red hoodie. I ambled down the stairs nervously to find a cooked breakfast of eggs on a plate, awaiting my arrival. What do you know; my mother did have a heart after all. Maybe it was feeling remorse for pushing me into the deep end so quickly and cooked a hearty breakfast to brighten my glum and foreboding day. An optimistic hope, but I was touched never the less.

I yelled thanks to my mom and urged my brother to hurry up. The La push school was elementary to high school due to the size of the youth population. Five minutes later my brother pushed the door out of his way and dashed to the car after I threatened to leave him behind. No one wanted to walk three miles to school in the rain.

"Bout time" I muttered, annoyed, to myself. Unfortunately, I was not known for my soft voice so, naturally he heard me.

"Well excuse me, but _someone_" looking pointedly at me "hogged the bathroom for half the morning."

"What you want me to go without a shower?" I snapped back.

"No, how about all that fussing with the hair and makeup. It doesn't do you any good so why bother?" like I said, he wasn't a morning person.

"You say this to the person who drives you to and from school?"The threat was implied in my voice.

He dropped it after that.

We arrived at school, with plenty of time so I took my time searching for the office. Once I found it I hurried in to escape the cold.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't (never have, never will) own the Twilight series, i'm just borrowing the wonderful charcter Ms. Meyer created.

Chapter 3

There was only one person in the cosy little office. A skinny and severe looking old lady. I had never understood why people who obviously hated children chose to work in a career that so unavoidably involved them. She continued to bustle around, stacking the towering piles of paper continually higher. I cleared my throat quietly. She continued on, pretending I wasn't there.

Finally, I had had enough, "Excuse me." I said in a polite tone.

Grudgingly she turned to look, or rather glared at me. "Yes?" she inquired in a high and what I thought evil voice.

"I'm new" I thought that was all that needed to be said but she just continued to look at me as if waiting for an explanation.

"I was wondering if I could get my schedule and everything else?" I asked briskly, now somewhat annoyed at the woman.

She just nodded and searched through the mountains of paper work. Sometime later she arrived back and pushed the paper into my hands and snapped

"Have all your teachers sign this,"

She then turned her back on me and went on doing whatever she had been doing before I came.

I scanned my schedule then looked at my map more closely. I decided to find the lawn area. I still had plenty of time before classes. Once I ambled my way all over the school I found it. I sat on one of the few dry seats and figured out where my classes were. Fifteen minutes later people started to show up and then staring began. I tried to ignore the looks and muttering but it was already starting to get to me and it had only been five minutes. Most of the student body were clearly Quileute. No hope of being invisible when I'm surrounded by russet skinned, black haired people and you have pale skin, waist-length ebony hair, which made me look even paler and deep blue eyes. My eyes were the only thing I liked about my appearance.

So, naturally I was followed by stares and murmured curiosities. Ignoring it to the best of my abilities I found my locker and after battling with the stubborn lock I yanked it open and filled it with my possessions.

Glancing at my watch I saw there wasn't much until class started so I meandered over to a bench near my next class and just waited. Sure, I looked weird but I was already being stared at.

Did I care if I looked like a freak? Let's think.... no.

The shrill bell went off so I shrugged myself off the bench and through the door. My schedule told me that my first class was with a woman called Ms. Sherwood. I looked up and saw a young and from first glance, nice looking teacher. I quietly cleared my throat. She glanced up.

"Um, I'm new." I mumbled, praying she wasn't as evil as the office lady.

She smiled "Alexandra Fletchely?"

"Yes."

"Right well here's the reading list," passing it to me briskly.

"Go take a seat up the back while you can" she suggested.

I smiled meekly and went to claim a seat away from the ever-following eyes.

Students started to form in, five or so minutes after the bell rang. They all stared and whispered amongst themselves and I carefully read through the list of books. Some things were familiar, others not.

An extremely petite, blonde girl plopped herself down next to me. There were plenty of other seats. I cringed; this meant she possibly wanted to have a conversation.

"Hey, you must be the new girl." She had a bright, perky voice. A bubbly blonde, great.

"Hi." I replied in a soft voice.

"What's your name?" she inquired. I could feel a series of questions coming on.

"Alex" I answered "what's yours?"

"Sasha" she replied with a grimace "if I get asked if I was a star in the 'Bratz Doll' movies once more I will hit them. Seriously, you think that would have gotten old but somehow it still amuses people." She shook her head, exasperated.

I smiled sympathetically.

The teacher called the class to order after that so we couldn't continue our little conversation. I didn't mind Sasha though. As much as I hated meeting new people, I picked a conversation over the whispering. It was a tough call though.

When class ended Sasha asked if she could quickly see my schedule.

"Cool, we have Algebra and French together" she commented "and lunch!" she added enthusiastically. I smiled and murmured a farewell before rushing off to my next class.

The rest of my classes went on as expected. I would have hated my Chemistry teacher regardless but he was just evil, making me introduce myself and sat me in the middle of the room where everyone could stare as much as they liked. Apparently he had a "seating plan" which was something I hadn't come across since elementary school. He also wanted to sit me somewhere where he could see me (the centre of the room, oh so convenient for staring) so he could remember who I was. Whatever. Finally, the bell rang which meant, hopefully the Alex Freak show would end for a while.

I followed a stream of students to the cafeteria where Sasha was waiting for me.

"Hey!" she exclaimed enthusiastically, "how were the rest of your classes?"

"Um, pretty good." No need to talk of the staring "I hate my chemistry teacher"

"Mace?" she guessed.

"Yeah," I looked up "Do you have him?"

"No, he's just a dick" she said matter-of-factly.

I laughed.

We walked to the line. Decisions, decisions. What shall I eat from the array of meat...? Maybe a soda?

Sasha looked at me. "You not feeling well or something?"

"No, I'm fine. It's just I'm vegetarian."I explained quickly hoping she wouldn't ask the oh-so predictable questions. _Where do you get the protein?_ If I had a dollar for every time I'd been asked that...

"Oh, yeah you might have a problem with that around here." She said frowning. "You could talk to the principal about salads or something?"

"It's cool; I can just bring lunch from home."I smiled.

"Kay"

She guided me to a mostly filled up table. There were three guys and three girls already sitting there.

Two looked like they were Quileute, possible related. The others were of a pale complexion with varying eye and hair colours.

"Hey guys, this is Alex." She said with a grin.

I stood there awkwardly, waiting for the introduction that was bound to follow.

"Alex, this is Tom and that's Mitch," indicating two tall guys, the one named tom, with brown floppy hair and brown eyes and Mitch had pale blonde hair and light blue eyes.

"These two are Alison and Sam," pointing to the obviously Quileute siblings "and the two bubbly blondes over there are Nikki and Rochelle." _How ironic _I thought wryly.

They greeted me with varying degrees of enthusiasm. But they all seemed nice enough.

Light chatter continued, I stayed quite mostly, just taking in the people around me. One group in particular caught my attention for three reasons. They were huge, the noisiest table in here and lastly made up of six extremely good looking guys. They were all Quileute, tall and hard muscled. Mitch followed my stare and laughed. "I see you've noticed the Quileute Gang,"

Gang? "You guys have a gang?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, those guys" he repeated.

"Oh my god, Jacob is so hot!" Rochelle enthused.

I gave her a questioning look and she smiled "oh, he's the one with longer hair. The three guys laughing are Jared, Quil and Seth. The one poking Paul, the one with the pissed off expression on his face, is Embry."

At the mention of this Paul, everyone, including Rochelle scowled.

"He has some serious issues," Tom ground out through his teeth.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Nikki piped up "Yeah, I haven't seen him smile since he disappeared for all that time." She glanced at me "Came back all buff and huge, like the rest of them. He was always an asshole but now he's got that pissed off expression on his face constantly." She looked kind of hurt and upset, as did the rest of the girls. The guys looked seriously mad and were scowling at the table. I noticed Alison seemed to be on the verge of tears and Sam looked almost murderous. It was odd and kind of scary.

I watched the gang for a while. Paul never lost that expression and ended up punching the one called Embry when he continued to poke him. A mini battle ensued, which Paul won.

I looked away after that, listening and sometimes contributing to the conversation. The bell signifying the end of lunch rang and we all reluctantly rose from our seats and set off to class.

I had Art with Sam so we trudged off. I wasn't really concentrating on where I was going, or the conversation I was having so when I crashed into a hot, hard wall I was a little surprised. I fell to the floor, shocked.

"Hey! Watch it" a severely pissed off voice snarled at me.

Of all people to crash into it would be _him._

"You just knocked her over! Apologise." Sam commanded and I admired him for having the guts.

Sam was pretty tall, by normal standards. But Paul would make mince meat of him.

"What?" was all Paul said.

"You heard me! Apologise, jerk!"Sam snarled back, pissed off.

I waited for Sam to join me on the floor but all he did was push past Sam and stalk off.

Sam bent down "Are you okay?"

I got up. "Yeah I'm fine. What a jerk." I said, shocked that someone could be so mean.

"That's Paul for you." He muttered "You'd think he'd feel bad about knocking a girl to the floor but no" I had a feeling he wasn't talking to me anymore so I let him rant to himself for a while.

Art passed slowly. I hated art, I had absolutely no talent for it and the teacher was the effing Nazi of Art. I quickly made enemies with her for coming in late.

Finally the bell rang. I farewelled Sam and made my way to the car. Nate was waiting for me there. We got in the car without a word. Casual conversation followed.

It had been a long day with both good and bad occurring. But Paul's eyes stayed with me until I slipped into unconsciousness that night.

**AN: **Hi guys. This one's a bit longer and it even has Paul in it! For a bit... and he's a jerk but whatever. he starred in this chapter. Thanks for the people who have put this fan fic as a favourite or have story alerted it! And a big thank you to the people who reviewed!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The rest of the week flew by and I surprised myself by actually being happy here. Sasha and her friends were cool people who had accepted me wholeheartedly. Mom was as angry as ever but it wasn't directed at anyone but her punching bag so that was fine with me. Sometimes I wondered why she was like this. She wasn't the only one to go through divorce and yet she's the only mother I know that beats the crap out of a punching bag morning and night. I concluded she had unresolved issues with something.

I hadn't seen nor pissed Paul off after that nerve racking day and I intended to keep it that way. I didn't put up with assholes. And from what I'd heard Paul was a classic asshole so I was completely content with him far, far away.

My weekend consisted of homework and chores. I know, my social life blows me away too.

When it came to a new week of school I was reluctant to get up in the morning. I was always surprised how two days of sleeping in could screw me up for the rest of the week.

After a drawn out shower I rushed around the house before bolting out the door, Nate quickly following.

Not strictly (or at all) following the speed limits we both made it to school with five minutes to spare. So I bustled to my locker and grabbed my books for my first subject, English. The bell rang and I pushed through the crowds of drowsy students still in weekend mode. When I sat down in English I felt something was going to be different. Students and the teacher filed in slowly, the seats filling up. The one next to me remained empty as a big and extremely good looking Quileute guy walked in. My heart sunk as I recognised him as Paul.

"So nice of you to finally show your face here Mr. Nelson.' The teacher remarked dryly.

All Paul did was grunt. He looked up and his eyes focused in on the empty seat next to me, the only one remaining. Then he glanced at me. And his expression changed dramatically. It went from one of boredom and slight irritation to wonder, intensity and an emotion I didn't dare to think let alone believe. He didn't look away. He continued to stare at me like he had just seen the sun for the first time. And it scared me. Other people started to notice and I looked away quickly, confused and distressed by it all. He shook his head and hastily walked to towards his seat. People's eyes followed until he turned to glare at them all. Their eyes flew away and conversation returned, filling my ears with trivial conversations.

He collapsed in the seat next to me and got out his stuff for the lesson then he turned to stare at me again. I didn't return the stare again until I realised he was giving me that intense look again. I decided to put a stop to it with conversation.

"Hi, my name's Alex" I said, trying to get my message across.

He snapped out of it "Paul."

The teacher started to talk thankfully so I was saved from the conversation I had started.

Half way through the lesson he spoke again "So where ya from?"

This small question annoyed me greatly. "Arley" I said shortly.

"Where's that?" full of questions today. Great.

I wasn't known for my patience so my next sentence wasn't exactly polite.

"Dude, honestly why do you care?" I snapped.

At first he looked confused then angry. "Trying to get to know the new student." He retorted.

"Well the new student doesn't really feel like being quizzed the same questions every time someone wants to talk to me so quit it." I really didn't know why I was getting so angry. Maybe I was more hurt by his actions last week then I thought. Or my mother was rubbing off on me.

"What is your problem?" he looked kind of hurt now but he seemed to cover it with anger.

The bell rang. " Have a think back to last week and maybe you'll get the idea" I hissed as I packed up and stalked out of the class.

PPOV

_Have a think back to last week and maybe you'll get the idea..._

What the hell was she on about? What was my beautiful, perfect angel talking about? I think I would remember if I'd met my imprint. How could I not? Staring into those amazing, mesmerising eyes. It was like staring into the ocean but more stunning, more indescribable. The world had changed then and there, altered to focus on her.

Pain and anger shot through me at her harsh words. She didn't even know me. This wasn't how it was meant to be! But then again, when had my life went according to plan?

By the end of the day I was pissed off beyond belief. I couldn't think of anything but her and why she seemed to hate me. And I had no idea what I'd done so I couldn't rectify my mistakes.

Then I saw her crossing the parking lot, walking with a bunch of people. She was laughing and it was the single most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I was momentarily distracted as I committed to memory but when I looked back I saw the person next to her. Two feelings coursed through me, the first was jealousy. It was irrational but I hated the idea of any guy but me being with five feet of her. The second was realisation.

_No wonder she hates me... _I though miserably. I had knocked her over; I could have potentially hurt her. I was rude to her.

I wasn't known for my control over my temper, in fact I was known for the opposite. But my control took me as far as the forest where my clothes were shredded, fluttering to the ground in little pieces.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Thanks so much to everyone who's alerted or reviewed this story! Please review and tell me what you think!

**Disclaimer: **Okay, we've been over this before but I think i have to do this every chapter so I'll do it: I don't (never have, never will) own the Twilight series or any of its characters.

**Chapter 5**

The rest of the month passed without much instance. I was fitting into La Push well, my classes were easy. Sasha quickly became my best friend. She was really nice and optimistic. Slightly self-centred but that was fine with me. She was fun to be around. The only thing bothering me was my recurring dream.

It started in this beautiful clearing with a waterfall. It was just me sitting on a picnic rug but then, suddenly he appeared. Paul. He had this look of love and adoration on his face. His smile was the single most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He came to sit down beside me and he gathered me into his arms. The dream continued on in its sappy, romantic way. Every time I woke up I was disturbed, not because it was Paul. Well, the first few times I was. But what disturbed me the most was how happy I was there. The love and happiness emanating from me were foreign. It's not like I'm depressed and don't know what happiness was but I'd just never felt the exhilarating happiness that I was in that dream. And I always felt just a tiny bit sad when I woke up, realising it's not real. I hated that because I knew Paul and I would never be together. I didn't do assholes.

Since that first day I had been curious as to why everyone had reacted so strongly. I had finally asked Sasha.

"_Hey, Sash?"_

"_Yeah Al?" I grimaced at her unnecessary nickname._

"_Why is everyone so tense about Paul?"_

_Sasha was silent so I pressed on "I mean the guys look like they're going to break something when anyone mentions him and Alison looks like she'll cry when she looks at him."_

"_Yeah, she probably does seeing as he's her ex." She mumbled softly._

"_Can you please tell me? I hate feeling like I'm missing something really big." I pleaded._

_She sighed. "Okay, Paul used to be our friend. We were all really close since middle school. Once we got to high school Paul became a player. One of the biggest in the school. Went out with just about every girl. Except me, Nikki, Rochelle and Alison. But in junior year they started going out. Alison and Paul." She added " She was changing him, he wasn't being such an asshole and they were together for ages. She loved him. But Sam was wary of him. Paul was always a friend but he was still an asshole. Just not to us so much. Then he disappeared for weeks. She was frantic with worry as were all of us. Anyway, he turned up again, told her it was over and that he'd never loved her and went back to his player ways. The rest of us were furious. But Sam was just about demented with anger. He went after Paul and confronted him about it. He tried to punch Paul but broke his hand in the process. Paul hasn't spoken to us since." She finished off._

_I felt bad for them. To have such a long time, not to mention close friend do that must have sucked big time._

"_I'm sorry" I murmured._

_She looked up and smiled "Nah, we're better off without that prick." _

_I could see her pain through her facade though._

Since I'd heard Paul's history I hated him even more. I really liked Alison and she didn't deserve that kind of crap.

I had taken to completely ignoring his presence in English. But occasionally when he wasn't looking I'd sneak glances at him. Over the progression of the month he had gotten gradually more morose looking. Still slightly pissed but mostly morose.

Sometimes I felt guilty; like it was my fault he was sad. But I brushed it. _Sheesh, Alex full of yourself aren't you? Thinking after one confrontation with Paul he's acting sad about you. _The same voice came into my head every time I thought that.

So I tried my very best not to think of Paul. Let me tell you, not as easy as you think.

* * *

PPOV

I was starting to get frantic. This was definitely not how it was meant to happen. She wasn't meat to hate me while I loved her with all of my being.

Sam and the fellow imprinters told me to wait for her to come around. I grudgingly followed their advice, deciding they knew more about it than me.

But let me tell you, it was killing me not to bury my face in her gorgeous, inky black hair while I hugged her. I had to restrain myself every English lesson with her. I tried my best not to stare at her, to no avail. I spent most of time just staring at her stunning, amazing face. She was the single most beautiful person I had ever seen. Every time she smiled I was awed by the sheer magnificence of it. My heart simultaneously soared and broke when she laughed, if that was even possible. It pained me to know that at this rate I would never be the one to put that smile on her face or the one to make her laugh her exquisite laugh.

Altogether, I was pretty much a mess. The pack was becoming seriously tired of my behaviour. Like, for instance, my spontaneous outbursts at people got old very quickly. Even Jared, my best friend, was growing wearisome with my behaviour.

Running patrol with no vampires around was about the most boring and irritating thing in the world. There was nothing to focus your thoughts on so everyone doing patrol could hear your every secret, know every shame. Or, if you were on the receiving end you could listen to people moan about their problems continuously in their head.

_You mean like we are about Alex? _Embry thought. He was the newest, not to mention the most annoying. Stupid kid.

_Hey! Did you forget we share thoughts or something idiot?_

_No, i just really don't care about your feelings. Or self esteem._

_Now maybe this is why she won't talk to you. _Oh, no. He did not just think that.

_If you were in biting distance.... _I thought.

_Or... maybe you should just apologise? _He said that in a 'duh' kind of tone.

_And maybe that wouldn't work. _I snapped back.

_Well, dude, either you can do something about it, like apologise like a normal person would. Or you could keep up this act of self-pity which you seem to have perfected._

_What would you know? You haven't even imprinted. You don't know what it's like._

_What, apologising? Paul, i know you think yourself above apologising but the fact is that that's the only way you'll get her to talk to you. And you know what's funny? you know I'm right._

And with that he phased back. Little bastard. But as much as i hated to admit it (and I'm only thinking this coz no one else is here to hear) the kid was right. I wasn't gaining anything by moping. Just pissed off pack brothers and family.

I phased back, shrugging a pair of shorts on and jumped through my window and onto my bed.

The lasts thought i had were about her and my dreams followed suit, her face filling my mind. So beautiful.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while. I haven't really had any inspiration and I've been busy. Just a warning but I may become progressively busier as the year goes on so I may not be able to update as frequently as I'd like to. So sorry, but bear with me.**

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to keep writing these things? Coz I think you've all got the idea... so I'll say it once more. I do not (never have, never will) own the Twilight Saga or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 6

Time had passed yet again, with amazing speed. But I felt like something was missing. I couldn't figure out what it was though, my mother was fine (well as fine as she ever was), as was my brother. School was easy, if not slightly boring, but my friends made up for that. They were hilarious. I had a lot of fun with them and when I needed them they were always there for me. Sasha was the only one who knew about my mother. I was wary to introduce them to her. She wasn't exactly your average mother and I didn't want them to think I was a freak and spread shit about me and my family. Yeah I know, what a trusting person I was. Well, I don't do trust. Ever. I let them think I do so there are no awkward questions or bitter feelings but essentially I never told people what really troubled me. But Sash was great; she thought my mother was hilarious.

After yet another repetitive and emotionally confusing dream I was roused awake by the insistent beeping of my alarm. Through one eye I glanced at the time. What I saw made me jump out of bed. I had exactly ten minutes to get ready if I wanted to have any chance of getting to school on time. I raced around my room throwing on a black singlet with a deep blue blouse over the top, a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of black converse. Sprinting/tripping to the bathroom I tugged a hairbrush through my hair, leaving it out. I had no time to fiddle with my bangs so I just left them as is, applied some mascara and eyeliner hurriedly and rushed down the stairs and through the door, without breakfast. I suddenly realised something: Nate. He either had already left or was still in bed sleeping. Well, either way he wasn't getting a lift with me unless he appeared within the next 3 seconds. Shoving the keys into the ignition I turned the car on and backed out. Within three minutes I was in the school parking lot. Yes, I am amazing. Or, I've just had a lot of practice.

Pushing through what seemed the entire student body I made it to class on time, which frankly amazed me. Collapsing in my seat I took a deep, calming breath and relaxed for the first time this morning. Five minutes later the teacher walked in.

"All right class today you will be splitting into pairs to re enact scenes from Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_ which, if you hadn't figured out we have been studying for the last three weeks." She announced with a dry smile.

"All right, split up, you have a week to do this in. Oh, and no, you cannot do the balcony scene." This was followed by groans from particular perverted members of the class.

I instantly turned to Nikki who was sitting next to me but I saw she was already with a chatty girl sitting on her other side. I turned around to look for Sam, who was also in my class but he too was with someone else. In fact, it looked as if the while class had paired off, leaving me either alone or with someone I most probably didn't want to be with.

"Looks like we're the only two left." I stiffened. I knew that voice. So deep and smooth. I'd recognise it anywhere. Paul.

Once more I frantically scanned the room searching for an escape before replying through tight lips "I suppose so."

He grinned happily and I was momentarily stunned by its beauty. It was blindingly happy, showing off his exceptionally white teeth. But only for a moment.

"Okay, look. How about to avoid fighting and drama I just do all the work and give it to you to rehearse? We turn up on the day and perform, get our mark and go back to not talking to each other. Deal?"

Pain shot across his face so quickly I couldn't be sure I'd really seen it. "Alex, look I'm so incredibly sorry about that day. I was being a complete asshole. I was having a bad day and that gives me no right to take it out on you or anyone. But I'm so sorry." His face was so freaking sincere, like my answer to his apology would either make or break his world.

"Yeah, well I've heard you being an asshole isn't uncommon." I muttered angrily.

He grimaced, "Alex, why don't you judge me from what you see" he saw the look on my face "starting from now instead of what other people tell you. Because sometimes people don't have all the facts."

Grrr.. he had a point. Maybe I should just give him a chance; he could have been having a bad day..... pffft yeah right. I'm not an idiot, I knew he was an asshole but I suppose to a certain degree I did have to work with him so I may as well try and keep him happy.

"Well, okay. You're forgiven, for now." I said with a small smile.

"Thanks." He grinned "So what scene do you want to do?"

"I'm not really fussed. Anything you particularly want to do?" I returned with a genuine smile. He was easier to get along with than I had thought.

"Well, I'm not much of an actor. That's an understatement, I really suck. Shakespeare is the bane of my existence. Actually the whole subject is. So preferably something with not much dialogue." He admitted sheepishly.

I grinned "Yeah, I'm not much of an actress either so we can probably stick to something wit next to no dialogue. But how can you hate English?" I asked, the concept was inexplicable to me.

"Easily. Math is so much easier, it never changes, there's a set of rules you have to follow, if you know them, your never wrong. English is so, I dunno, the opposite of math." He shuddered.

"So you like rules? And predictability?" I inquired, now extremely curious.

"No, not really. Just in school. I hate it, and math just comes easier to me." The more I talked to him, the larger my curiosity grew.

"Right... well that makes some sense I guess. But I can't get the math thing. "I wrinkled my nose in disgust, I hated math with a passion.

He laughed at my expression.

After that he started to quiz me on all the basic stuff- favourite colour, flower etc. We continued this till the bell rang. I gathered up all my stuff and walked towards the door and off to my next class.

"Hey, want to sit with me and my friends today?" he asked eagerly.

I bit my lip, I wanted to, I really did, but I also knew how my friends would react and I still didn't trust Paul to not become an asshole again.

"Um, sorry Paul but I don't think I'll be able to." I mumbled awkwardly.

"Why?" he seemed hurt now.

"Well, you know who my friends are right?" You could see it click in his mind and the scowl on his face seem to appear simultaneously with comprehension.

"Right, well bye." He growled, almost animal like and with that he charged through the crowd and out the door, shaking angrily the whole way.

What was with him?

**An: So what did you think? Review!!!! Please?**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: **Ummmm, hey guys. I'm so sorry, it's been so long since I updated. I don't want to know how long. But yeah, really busy and not in the mood for writing. Really sorry. But it's a long chapter; if that makes it better... please don't kill me.

**Chapter 7**

That familiar feeling appeared. You know that one, the one you get when someone's staring at you? Yeah, well I get it a lot nowadays. Sighing I turn around.

"Yes?" I turned around smiling.

He didn't answer at first "Do you want to come around to mine to practice after school?" he asked whilst returning my smile with his brilliant one.

I bit my lip. They would be so pissed if I did. But, then again they did know I was partnered with him so they knew it wasn't exactly my fault or choice. But still.

Paul seemed to read my face and scowled "What, they're going to stop you passing English just to keep me away from you?"

"Not exactly but they still won't be happy. I just won't say anything unless they ask." I grimaced. This was all a bit sad but I knew where they were coming from.

"You know from the outside this all looks a bit controlling," he insinuated casually.

My glare had him backtracking "But... since when has what I say matter?"

I smiled sweetly. "Exactly, I'll meet you in the parking lot after school."

I wasn't sure he'd heard me because his eyes glazed over after I smiled. I really didn't get it, why did he look at me like that? Like I was the single most beautiful girl in the world? I wasn't ugly but I wasn't anything special either. Not plain even, just... normal. Like the rest of my life at the moment. I couldn't deny it, I was bored. I wanted adventure. So sue me for going after the oh-so alluring adventure in my life at the present- Paul. I knew I shouldn't be taken in by his charm that appeared once he dropped the asshole act. I shouldn't be so aware of how freaking hot he was. But as much as I cared for my friends, I cared for him as well. Wait, no! I don't like him. I'm just attracted to him. God knows, I'm not the only one. They may not actually approach him, not since Hannah, resident slut, had been rejected so harshly she burst into tears on the spot, but the talk that went on when he wasn't there! It was all too annoying.

It wasn't just him, all of his friends were regarded in the same way, but unfortunately for them, majority of them were in what seemed to be in deeply loving and serious relationships. It was pretty much Paul, Embry and Jacob left. And Jacob was becoming more and more emo-like because he was depressed about some girl from Forks, which kind of killed his hott-ness. So that left Embry and Paul.

Without knowing at all, I'd been walking to my next class. I was somewhat proud, yet disturbed at the fact I could walk through clustered corridors with mindless chatter surrounding me, and not even notice. But was being that oblivious a good thing? Who knows?

This class, Calculus (blah, I'll kill my mother for making me do it), I had with Alison. She was already seated and smiling in greeting at me.

"Hey" I returned the smile hastily as I got my books out.

"Hey, we're going down to the beach after school. Wanna come?" Oh god, of all the people to have to tell...

"Who's coming" I asked evasively, avoiding answering for as long as possible.

Her look was quizzical as she answered "The group- you, me, Nikki, Rochelle, Sasha, Sam, Mitch and Tom."

"Oh" my eyes were fixated on the pen I was removing the lid off.

"So, can you come?" She pressed.

I sighed heavily. "Actually, I can't." _Please don't ask why, please don't ask why......_

"Why?" Goddamit!

"I have to meet up with Paul for our English project." Why her? Of all people?

I cringed at the expression on her face. "I'm sorry, but we really need to get this finished."

She remained silent for a few moments before replying "No, it's alright." But the gritted teeth said otherwise.

She didn't talk to me for the rest of class and left without a glance in my direction. I huffed and shouldered my bag storming out of the room. It wasn't _my_ fault I had a project with him. But it is my fault that I enjoy the excuse to talk to him. I really should stop doing this.

When I entered the cafeteria I was welcomed with death stares from Sam. The rest looked uncomfortable and unsure of what to do.

The option of walking out of the cafeteria was very tempting. But if I made it look like I have something to be guilty about they're more likely to think I do. I pay for my salad and water and walk over.

The tension in the air was confronting. I hesitated before taking my usual seat between Sasha and Tom.

"Hi guys" when they didn't answer I averted my eyes to my, now less appealing salad.

"What's your problem? What the hell do you think you're doing hanging out with him after school?"

The anger and accusation in this not-so true statement made my own temper flare "My problem? My problem is that I'm not even allowed to pass English if it involves Paul. I'm sorry, I know how you all feel about Paul, and with good reason, but there's not a lot I can do about it."

But Sam wasn't done yet "What happened to doing the assignment by yourself?"

I sighed in frustration and exasperation. "It's re-enacting a scene from _Romeo and Juliet _Sam! Not a research project. Kind of hard to explain where he put the work in don't you think?"

"Even better, he can fail." Sam shot back venomously.

"Okay you know what? This is getting weirdly controlling and I don't really think I want to be here when you decide to lock me in a closet to prevent me seeing him, so, until you figure out how weird and stuffed up this is, piss off! I'm sorry guys but I can't avoid him forever." I cast an apologetic look at Alison "I really am sorry."

I, for once, got up gracefully and departed. The grounds weren't too wet so to avoid their glares I went and sat on one of the deserted tables in the garden.

Sighing and staring dejectedly at my still untouched salad, I slumped onto the bench. Minutes after speaking those words I regretted them. They didn't need to hear that, even if it was true. And now they probably hated me. Joy. I was back to being the new girl with sarcasm and cynicism for friends.

Anger shot through, why did it have to be me? Couldn't he have picked someone else to talk to? Or picked some other group to hurt so badly. The anger needed an escape. That escape was tossing my lunch violently off the table, and chucking my water as far away as I could. I sat there just staring at the mess I'd just made before sighing, for what seemed the hundredth time today, at my shockingly childish and pathetic behaviour. Pushing myself off the bench, I bent down and picked up the ruins.

"Generally when we buy water, we drink it, not throw it." I started and swivelled, already knowing who it was.

"Jesus, Paul, don't scare me like that." I snapped, glaring at him venomously.

My expression seemed to hurt him "What have I done now?"

The hurt, so clear on his face and deep in his eyes, made me feel guilty. "Nothing, I just told them where I would be this afternoon, they got pissed, I reciprocated, and here I am."

He frowned. "Oh." Then he looked pained. "I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. Shit, um, what can I do?" he pleaded.

It really was his fault. Entirely his fault. But I couldn't bring myself to be angry at him. He may have been a complete dick to them but, so had I now so I guess I shouldn't criticise.

"Well, did you have any compelling reasons to go to the rest of your classes?" I smiled.

"Not really. What do you have in mind?" His grin was happy.

My eyes narrowed "Our project, genius" I said slowly so he'd process what I was saying.

He blushed. "Right. Well should we go in my car? Or yours?"

"I don't mind"

"Okay, we'll take mine and I'll get Embry to drop off yours later." He said decisively.

I hopped up "Well if we're skipping lets go now."

"After you, miss." He said, with his hands extended slightly in front of him.

I snorted "Don't ever do that again. You couldn't be a gentleman if you tried."

He feigned offence "I can so. You just haven't given me the opportunity."

I laughed. "Yeah, the opportunity to attempt to be one and make a fool out of yourself."

He pouted "You're mean."

I laughed again "Yep."

He sulked the rest of the way to his car.

"You finished?" I asked

He shook his head. "Not until you apologise and take it back."

"Okay, I'm sorry Paul. But I'm not taking it back until you prove me wrong."

"Fine, I will." And with that he marched over to my door and opened it for me.

I laughed again; this boy had a gift for making me forget my problems, even when he's the centre of them.

I sat down in the car. "That's a start" I allowed.

He walked around and got in on his side. "You'll see."

The drive itself was quiet, but in a serene way. Paul had this smile on his face; so beautiful and satisfied. It made me smile. I grimaced, ruining the happy picture; thoughts like that seemed to always pop into my head when they really, really shouldn't.

When the car finally slowed to a stop I looked out the window. A cute little two story cottage entered my vision. The garden surrounding it was picturesque. And I couldn't imagine Paul in this house one little bit. Oh well, I was about to see. My view was blocked by a very buff and hot torso. He opened my door and offered his hand to help me out.

I had to laugh at that. "I'm alright, thanks."

"Well fine then, reject my gentleman-like behaviour. Just the fact that I'm offering it proves that I am one." He announced while we were walking to the door.

"You can be one when you consciously try. By nature you're not though."

His eyes narrowed. "You'll see."

"I already have" I shot back.

"Example?" he was becoming a bit pissed off now. Not that that would stop me.

"Do you want a list?"

"Give me one example." Did he really think he could beat me with this?

"My first day, you knocked me over." Let's see how he tries to justify that.

"It was an accident."

"If it was an accident, the gentleman would apologise and help me up." I said, trying not to sound too resentful.

He was silent for a moment "Fine, you got me. I wasn't a gentleman then. But now that I've actually got a reason to be one I will be."

"What reason's that exactly?"

"You." He remarked promptly before pulling a chair out for me.

I remained standing, in slight shock. Why was I a reason for him to be a gentleman? Surely he didn't like me? He was so good looking, he could have any girl.

"And?" I enquired.

"What do you mean?" he seemed confused for some reason.

"What does my being around have to do with you needing to be a gentleman?" please don't say what I ludicrously want you to say....

**PPOV**

"What does me being around have to do with you needing to be a gentleman?" her sweet voice asked.

Did she seriously not know? Jared said I wasn't exactly subtle...

Well here it goes, the normal 'no imprinting' reason "Because I like you."

_Please don't reject me or slap me or something....._

She seemed to be in shock. I waited as patiently as was possible in this particular instance.

"Paul, you can't like me. I can't like you, you can't like me. Ok?" her angelic voice was hard, like it was when she was trying to be ruthless.

"Why Alex, why?" this was not happening. I was not getting rejected by my imprint. I really hate my old friends. And myself...

She let out and exasperated sigh "Because Paul, they're my friends and whether you like it or not you hurt them. I can't have anything to do with you after this...." while she was pumping out the speech I'd heard many times from her I studied her guarded face carefully.

It was so hard to tell what she really thought and felt. But what was that? In her eyes, was it desire? Did she actually like me? Only one way to find out.

Interrupting her mid-sentence, I lowered my head to hers and kissed her. Our lips fitted together like a puzzle. Her lips were still for a moment before replying hesitantly. I couldn't believe this was happening.... she didn't hate me....

**APOV**

His lips were so soft... and hot. I was worried about his health, but a bit occupied at the present. Our lips moving together, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. Meant to be. His tongue glided along my bottom lip, asking for entrance. Against my better judgement, I complied. His tongue tangled with mine. My mind had went blissfully blank, letting me enjoy the kiss.

Several minutes later we stopped and my actions came to my attention.

"Shit! Jesus, Paul do you have any respect? You don't just kiss someone half way through a conversation!" I was on the defence now. No matter how much I wanted to kiss his irresistible lips again.

"Last time I checked, if someone objected to being kissed they didn't let it go on for five minutes." He returned, smirking. You could see the satisfaction radiating off him, the smug bastard. Why did he have to be so freaking perfect?

"Not the point! You shouldn't have done it in the first place! And like I could have stopped you anyway! You're unnaturally huge."I couldn't deny I didn't like it. I had been blissfully happy to be finally kissing Paul. So I changed the subject.

"You think I wouldn't stop." His murderous glare seemed to cover the pain and hurt from that assumption.

I sighed "No, I don't think that, I just... can't. They've been so nice to me, Sasha's my best friend." I finished quietly.

"If she was your best friend she'd understand." He said shortly.

That was it; I couldn't handle his insensitivity to my situation. 'Well Paul, we won't ever find out because, because I'm not risking it!" I shouted, before swivelling and storming out.

Totally overdramatic but I was pissed off and upset. I realised it was more than attraction, I actually liked him.

I heard quick footsteps following me. Then a warm hand reached out and grabbed me gently. "Wait! Alex! Just answer me this- do you like me? At all?"

The look on his face prevented me from lying "Yes, I do. But that doesn't change anything. I'm sorry."

Knowing I couldn't keep up the semi-composed facade for much longer I pivoted and ran away. As in literally ran. How extremely cliché and overdramatic. But he didn't follow. I knew because when I spared a glance back at him all I could see the broken look on his face. My stomach churned, knowing I had put that look there. But I kept walking. Just like I had my whole life.

**AN: **Not really sure about this chapter... so tell me what you think! Please?


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